Friday, 10 July 2009

The 'Bad Mother' Charts

It’s 10 past five on a Friday night and I’m on my second instalment of wine. Combine that with the fact that in the last 24 hours my son has fallen off the bed twice and you can see how I’m slowly edging my way up the ‘Bad Mother’s list’.

These are how the charts are looking so far:

No. 3 Jordan aka Katie Price

No. 2 Kerry Katona, (for Iceland crimes against children)

I had myself at 4th place today until I was in Primark (Hackney) and I heard a woman say to her child,

“I’ve just abaat ‘ad enuff ov dis, oo der fuck d’ you fink you are?”

OK lady, you win. I’ve now put myself at 5th place because I’m far too middle class to actually direct the word ‘fuck’ at my child. Daytime drinking however; is perfectly acceptable…..

At number one of course, the woman who will probably stay there for evermore, is Karen Matthews. Now, it would take some seriously bad parenting to beat that record. Only if you actually killed and ate your own child would you make it to the top of the list. Doesn’t that make you feel better………?

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