Friday, 18 September 2009

Mother Guilt in the shape of an Iggle Piggle birthday cake

So, if I made it sound like my friend Buttercup was just a little bit pissed off at being back at work that was an understatement. When she called me a few days back she was all apologies….

“I’m so sorry. I’ve been such a bad friend. I had no idea what you were going through when you went back to work.”

I keep telling her there’s no need to apologise. A couple of weeks on and just as those bastards predicted, I have adjusted. I no longer feel so enraged. It’s still undeniably shit, the familiar stress knot in my neck has returned, but you are less likely to be knifed by me at work than a few weeks ago, which should come as a relief to my colleagues.

Buttercup however; is still on week one. Week one is when you start thinking about how quickly you can get pregnant again and go back on Maternity leave. Naturally there have been tears; the flow of which have only been stemmed by the flow of red wine. Let me leave you in no doubt that Buttercup is feeling well and truly shredded by her new life.

As for the rest of them, where as I have just flown into town everybody else seems to be leaving on a jet plane. Cupcake is hitting Ibiza for a long weekend with tits the size and texture of boulders, having only stopped breastfeeding two days ago, while Victoria Sponge is flying to the Caribbean so that her husband can be best man at my despicable ex-boyfriend’s wedding. Enough said.

Meanwhile, my son’s 1st birthday is looming……

I’m fairly sure I’m supposed to be doing memorable and remarkable things for the occasion but I haven’t a clue what these are? Should I be baking a cake?

Buttercup’s son just turned one last week and I’ve seen pictures of the cake she made which looked pretty impressive to me, despite her damning opinion of it.

We were on the phone - Buttercup on her third glass of red wine (home measures not pub measures) and I asked her:

“Is this cake baking thing something I should be doing?” to which she replied

“Just buy one. I only did it to ease my guilty conscience because I had to send my son to Nursery.”

So, if you’ve never seen mother guilt before – this is what it looks like.

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