Friday, 6 November 2009

Disconnected, disenchanted and off up north

This weekend, I’m packing my Kurt Geiger’s, my best pants and a bottle of Cava like the classy bitch I am, because for one night only Cupcake and I are off to Manchester.

I’m sporting my new disconnected fringe; cut and coloured by a rotund homosexual with blue-tinged hair, lotus flowers tattooed up his arms and what appeared to be a diamante embedded in the skin behind his ear. As soon as I laid eyes on my hairdresser-to-be I knew it was going to be radical and I knew it was going cost me. I was right on both counts. On the up side I have a slightly edgy ‘do’ which definitely doesn’t say ‘sensible mother’.

Who knows what may become of me in the next 48 hours? I suppose one of my previous posts 'Things I might be doing on a Saturday Night if I wasn't mother' might provide some useful clues. 'Ankle-panties' here I come. (thanks freckletree!)

My dear readers must be so bored of me banging on about how much I hate my job that I scarcely want to mention it. This is my space for being cheeky, chirpy and sarky and I try to avoid, at all costs, being serious on my blog. My job shows me just how much misery there is in the world, so, I don't really want to be down in my down time, if you know what I mean. But for those of you still reading, still wondering, still caring; just for the record here it is........................

I work in a womens' prison. I am not a prison officer. In my humble opinion, prisons are backward-thinking, inhuman, degrading and pointless institutions which cost tax payers ludicrous amounts of money. They are the cold, rat infested homes of men and women locked in cycles of poverty, addiction, abuse and despair. Those that need to be punished are not punished adequately, those that need to be rehabilitated and educated are not done so adequately and those that need to be cared for, supported and encouraged are not done so adequately. It is shameful and I don't want to be a part of it anymore. I don't even care if I get fired for saying this.

My trials and tribulations at work have been so gross of late that I would willingly take almost any other job on the planet right now.

Please e-mail me here at troutiesblog at hotmail dot co dot uk with any job offers. Sleazy, cheesy, queasy, or easy, I’ll consider them all.

I try to keep politics, sadness and seriousness out of my blog. I’m sorry that I have failed today. If you have been affected by anything in this post then you might be even further disturbed if you went to these links.

If I were you I'd just give those a miss and wait until I come back with tales of grit, wit, drunkeness and debauchery. Much more my style.


  1. Let your hair down - you deserve it.

    LCM x

  2. Sara in Austin,TX6 November 2009 at 22:11

    sorry your job sucks. hope you can find a way soon to earn money doing what you enjoy

  3. Waiting for stories of drunken debauchery! Have an awesome weekend!

  4. If we get fired together, we can go back to the days of getting pissed in the park whilst watching the munchkin's beat each other up. Good times....

  5. I agree with you about prisons - would love to see the 'do'. And hope you are 'aving it Large up North!

  6. Troutie,
    Thanks for giving me a GIANT kick up the arse of gratitude today for my current life which sometimes gets me down, but woah. Your job sucks.
    I hope you have a weekend of debauched fabulousness. It is truly what you deserve.
    As for your job and your situation, I actually think you're in a kind of prison yourself. You hate what you're doing and it's making you miserable. I know you probably feel worried about making ends meet and that is very real, but if it's crushing your soul then you need to find a way out. I have had jobs that did that to me and I can honestly say that each and every single time I said "FUCK IT" and leapt, the net appeared.
    Leap, Troutie, leap.

  7. I want to go out for a weekend instead of working them. And serving people who are enjoying their weekends. I want to be the asshole who talks to the bar staff like shit. Although I won't do that, because I know how much the bar staff want to punch you in the head when you do that. I had a late night last night :( Serving assholes. Have a good weekend :-)

  8. Oh, and although I have had 2 kids within 13 months of each other, I am not your annon I have had a few enquiring people ask me, was a very strange coincidence we both posted after each other. I look forward to seeing who she is as well.

  9. It would be fabulous if you could make $$$ on this website and quit your horrible job. I've been working for a small (tiny really) law enforcement agency for 10 years now. I think I just hide away my emotions the moment I clock in. This comment is post-vacation and I'm glad to see you had a rip-roaring good time. Wish it were my turn!