Tuesday, 18 May 2010


I am still without vibrations. (See last post). In my defence, there’s been a lot going on. I’ve been flirting with lesbians in a bar in Brighton, eating Vivienne Westwood’s immense ‘once-in-a-lifetime-moussaka’ (“I’m never making fucking moussaka again, Troutie, it took forever” she groaned). I’ve also been on a mini holiday to the south coast to stay with my dear friend Platinum Blonde, her daughter, Mini Platinum Blonde and her husband, One Non-Blonde.

We took in the delights of Exmouth beach, the moors with its ponies and wild weather and Exeter Town Centre. It was all going swimmingly until I pissed on my dungaree strap and we crashed the car in the multi storey car park.

When I got home at around 8 pm last night, I thought I had been burgled. Turns out that was just the way I left it. Unsurprisingly, I have spent the day cleaning up. One of the many tasks I completed was putting away some books on my bookshelf. The books had been in a cardboard box accumulating dust for about the last year.

You’ve probably all heard the proverb “Show me your friends and I’ll tell you who you are.”

Well my version is “Show me your bookcase and I’ll tell you who you are.”

Here are the three shelves of my bookcase. (I have hundreds of books in boxes accumulating dust, but only one bookshelf) Make of them what you will.

Top Shelf - Highlights include 'Dancehall' by Beth Lesser, 'Vintage Fashion' by Emma Baxter-Wright some ancient dressmaking bibles and an Agatha Christie biography.

Middle Shelf - Highlights include some vintage anthropological heavyweights, a rare copy of 'Dread - The Rastafarians of Jamaica', Rita Marley's autobiography.


Last shelf - Highlights include Peep Show Scripts, 'Eve was Framed' by Helena Kennedy, Real England' by Paul Kingsworth, obligatory punctuation guides and even more obligatory....an Ikea catalogue.....

P.S I should also alert you to the fact that my past post was poorly researched. On further investigation of the Lelo website I discovered that some Swedish sex life accesories have a price far higher than a hundred English pounds. See here.


  1. Totally with you on the bookshelf analysis. Particularly if you were to look at mine right now, as due to our move at the beginning of the year you will find only worthy literature, travel guides, wholesome cookbooks and children's classics. (I threw all the 3 for 2 crap chick lit out when we moved, obviously - and since I'm here rather than within reach of a handy Waterstone's, have not yet had the chance to acquire any more...)

  2. Thanks for the peek at your bookshelf - I completely agree with you!

    That Lelo thing is expensive indeed. Does it really add to the experience I wonder if it's made of 18K gold?

  3. I haven't quite got to the book shelf psychoanalysis - I am still busy trying to work out whether the dungaree strap urination was directly linked to the car crash or just simply another highlight of the trip.

  4. I think peoples bookshelves are fascinating and I find houses without books really disconcerting - ours are stuffed full and most flat surfaces in our house seem to have books on - I have certainly never dusted them!

  5. I'm studying Classics, doing research for my novel about an architect, a house in France and ghosts, have an obscene amount of cookbooks and I'm helping out with an online Emila Zola reading thing. Oh and have some garden design books too. You don't want to see my bookshelves xx