Friday, 11 March 2011


If you haven't been here for a while then goddammit you just missed out on some free porn!

For the rest of you, here are the winners of the 'Porn Name' competition, in no particular order.

Puffy Rosenfeld - by Cathy B. Puffy is original. It has hip hop overtones, as in Puff Daddy. Alternatively, if you are extra rude, 'Puffy' as an adjective could make you think of all sorts of things.

Popeye McMeekin - by Countess. This is so ridiculous - I couldn't stop laughing. 'Meekin' also made me think of 'merkin' which, as any cultured individual should know, is a pubic wig.

Pushkin Eliot/Chompy McVag - by MTFF. Chompy Mc Vag is a slightly illegal choice as it is not an official porn name but it appealed to my warped sense of humour and I couldn't resist.

Smokey Brooks - by Dawn. Utterly fabulous. This one deserves a gold star. It is everything you could want from a porn name.

Please send me your chosen address by email (troutiesblogathotmaildotcodotuk) and I shall send your prize discreetly through the post wrapped carefully in padded brown paper envelopes.

I hadn't even considered the fact that the winners may need multi-region DVD players. All I can say is that it gives you an excuse to have a 'Porn and Prawn' party at a friend's house - but more on that next time.

I have a busy weekend ahead of me but I hope to be back very soon to share my musings with you. Some of the subjects on my musings list are 'Porn and Prawn' parties, Potty Parties, Coil Parties and why I feel the need to turn every minor event into a 'party'. I have also made some notes on beauty, since meeting this lady in real life.


  1. Porn & Prawn Party...that sounds messy...

  2. Aww I'm a winner!!!! Yeehaa, I'm a winner!!! O and did I say...I'm a winner. LOL!! This is better than the frozen chicken I won at Miss Ohope Beach competition, which then defrosted in the sand and I had to throw out. But dear Troutie I live in NZ and couldn't possibly expect you to pay the postage to here. Please pass it on to another gorgeous housewife who's in as much need of 'stimulation' as I am....I'm sure you know someone worthy :)
    Gawd I'm so excited....I'm a WINNER!!!

  3. ....and I'm off to google merkin. Yes, I've lived a very sheltered life.

  4. Countess.....I'm very dedicated to my mission to bring female friendly porn to the world. Please e-mail me your address, it's no problem to send to NZ. After all, its only a DVD it doesn't weigh the same as a frozen chicken.

    Lottie - I shall explain all....

  5. Countess - I should also add that I've led a sheltered life because I had no idea that in Australia your 'biscuit' is your vagina. Do you have any NZ specific words for it?

  6. Had to go and wipe my tears away....Husband didn't think Chompy McVag was all that funny until I explained the career of said Chompy!!!