Saturday, 10 April 2010

My Big Fat Ass

As I write, my son is eating broccoli off the floor. Oh well, it could be worse, he could be licking up last night’s cocaine. (Joking!)

On Thursday I went to see the doctor. She told me that I weigh 11 stone (70kg). I sighed. Shortly after I gave birth in 2008 I weighed 11st 7lbs. Then I went to Weight Watchers and in 8 months got down to 9st 12lbs – slimmer than I had been before I was pregnant. I have resigned myself to the fact that I must do this all over again. It's going to be a pain in my big fat ass.

The doctor listened to the baby’s heartbeat but we couldn’t really hear anything. I didn’t have the energy to panic.

“It’s not always easy to hear it at 16 weeks” she said trying to reassure me. We endeavoured for a while but eventually I let her off the hook.

“It’s fine” I said “I can feel it moving anyway”

Then she checked my heartbeat.

“That’s fine” she said.

“At least one of us is alive and kicking” I remarked.

On Wednesday this week I visited what will be, my son’s nursery. Some months back I wrote this post about a very white middle class nursery. Well this one was virtually the opposite. A government maintained centre with almost entirely black staff and black kids. Where are all the mixed race kids? Where are the Chinese kids and the Bangladeshi children and the Kurdish kids and the endless types of children in this multicultural city that I live in?

Despite my reservations about its lack of diversity and roughness around the edges, there are several things edging this one to the top of the list. Namely, it’s close and it’s reasonable in price and it’s about as clean and well stocked as you are going to get for a non-private nursery. If I hadn’t seen the Ritz of nurseries first, then I wouldn’t be being so picky but it suddenly dawned on me that this is where I would be leaving my child.

While we on the subject of previous posts, I was going through my archive to find the post about the nursery when I discovered this post which contained the lines...

“Now to the angel at the top of my tree……

London City Mum suggested that said angel is a fertility symbol. If this is so, I didn’t realise it. It was purchased many years ago from an Oxfam shop for 70p.”

Want to know something spooky? I put the angel on top of my tree on December the 17th. I got pregnant on December the 18th because the last condom we had miraculously went missing……..

I’m not one for superstition but it did get me thinking, maybe LCM had a point?


  1. Maybe she did?

    On fertility related things, I conceived my son on Beltane, after more than 12 months of trying. So maybe there is something to the fertility symbols/holidays.

    Oh and as I comment, my son is eating pasta off the floor. Meh, could be worse.

  2. I'm so sorry. I was convinced that Beltane was a drug I hadn't tried.


    For those of you as uncultured as me, you can find out what Beltane is all about here!

  3. Can I borrow the Angel? I promise to treat it with the utmost care.
    My husband and I have been trying to conceive for six years. Have spent thousands on treatment but with no luck. Maybe your angel is just the thing we need!!

  4. Oh my goodness Claire! What on earth are you doing reading my blog? Doesn't it infuriate you?

    Seriously, you can email me your address and you can have custody of the angel for a while. The angel and I were separated for seven years so I'm sure we could go a few months or so.

    I can't say I'm particularly supersticious but its worth a shot. And its free of charge!

    Best of luck!

  5. Spooky!

    Sucks that you can't find a mixed race nursery, and suprising too. Ours here in SF is about the most diverse bunch of kids and staff you could find, many mixed race kids, Chinese, Filipino, black, Indian. My daughter often says to me "Mummy, my skin is REEALLY white", which is pretty cute, and true, since even among the other caucasian kids she is about the whitest kid in class and her teachers are paranoid about putting extra sunscreen on her! She is pretty observant about race already, in a good way. She was very pleased with the new disney princess, noticing that she had nice brown skin like some of her classmates.

  6. Well, it's good you found a nursery at least. I'm five months gone and I've got my head firmly in the sand about this, so it will probably be too late to find one.

  7. Oh Mwa! The nursery is for my 18 month old son not for my unborn child! You think I'm that organised?

    You've got plenty of time. Surely?