Sunday, 2 May 2010

Portrait of a Curious Trout

My dear friend Cupcake has zero patience and zero tolerance when it comes to surprises. Like a child she will badger you and drain you until you give in and tell her whatever it is she wants to know. She HATES not knowing something. So tell me how a woman like this can go the whole course and not find out what sex her baby is?

She is mortified that I am going to find out, especially since I have been saying that I would prefer the surprise this time.

When I was pregnant before I was fairly freaked out and wanted to know what I was having so that my brain could prepare itself. I decided that being pregnant in itself was enough of a surprise and I wasn’t sure if I could cope with anymore surprises.

In my mind I wanted a girl and had convinced myself that I was having a girl. When I was told I was having a boy, I did not hide my disappointment from the sonographer. Understandably I got the whole “You should be grateful that your baby is healthy” speech to which I replied,

“Well, I know I should be grateful, but that’s not how I feel right now.”

My life has often taken perverse turns and I’m sure this is going to be one of them, because now I really want another boy and I’m sure the universe is about to give me a girl.

Originally I wanted a girl so I could raise the next Boudicca who would charge into the world with as few complexes about her body, mind and role in society as possible. But then when I had a boy I thought, “This is great. I can raise a man who will respect women and not expect them to do the housework. I can fight this battle from the opposite angle."

So who knows? Next Thursday is the day when I hopefully get to find out.

Place your bets ladies and gentlemen……..

Now, for those of you still reading I’m about to break my rule and do one of those ‘meme’ things. The lovely lady known as 'Muddy No Sugar' occasionally invites me to join in these things, even though she knows I'm not really into them.

She's caught me at a weak, less bitchy moment and she is such a lovely lady that I am finding it hard to resist her this morning. So here goes, the whole thing, as required.

Apparently I must:

1) Thank, the person who has given you the award. Thank-you, Muddy

2) Copy the logo and place it on your blog. See here

3) Link the person who has nominated you for the award. Muddy

4)Name 7 things about yourself that people might find interesting.

1. I spent a year in the Caribbean building a house with my own hands.

2. I have three step-children in Jamaica.

3. My first ever job was as a Butcher's Assistant when I was 14.

4. My first ever job turned me into a Vegetarian for about 3 years.

5. I have a navel phobia.

6. I have had sex with a shameful number of men (3.5 - to be precise. Yes you read that right. Three point five. Not thirty-five. It should be thirty five. I am much more a thirty-five kind of girl than a three point five kind of girl.)

7. I once had sex on a rock on a nudist beach.

5) Nominate 7 other Kreativ Bloggers.

OK. This is a hard one. I'm sure anyone I nominate will have already had this. Secondly, because I am always hesitant about 'memes' I feel a bit bad passing them on to others. I'm going to do it because I said I would but if those I nominate do not want to take part then I will gracefully accept their choice.
Here goes:
1) Geekymummy, - because she's a scientist and that blows me away everytime. I could NEVER be a scientist
2) Belgravia Wife - Because she started blogging recently and I read a post of hers where she described the dregs of her food cupboard which made me feel hungry. When my cupboards are bare I have red kidney beans and vodka left. That's it.
3) Mwa - She's either had it already, or doesn't want it. Let's see.
4) Little Green Fingers - I don't have a garden of my own so I read this blog. I have this Felicity Kendal, 'Good Life' fantasy. Just yesterday I went out in dungarees and a check shirt. No lie.
5) Noble Savage - I only discovered this blogger recently. I will never forget the story about the neighbour and the placenta bucket.
6) More than just a mother - Another blogger who I've been reading lately.
7) Tapestry Face - who will never take part in this in a million years even though she is in isolation with some kind of tropical disease with nothing to do......

6) Post links to the 7 blogs you nominate Jesus Christ this whole fucking post has taken about two hours! Are we done yet? No wonder I never join in with these things.....

7) Let the nominated victims bloggers know they have been tagged Pending....


  1. 3.5 - snap! And yes, in my head, I am a much 35 kind of gal, but, hey, who am I kidding? Should our paths ever cross one day we must both divulge details of the 0.5...

    I too am crap at memes (I didn't even know how to pronounce that word until recently) but even if I don't quite manage to do this I just wanted to say I'm very honoured by the mention on your always marvellous blog!

  2. Thanks for the award Troutie! Not sure when I'll get around to it but I will eventually. I hope I haven't scarred you with my placenta bucket story.

  3. Geeky! Would love to know about the 0.5.
    Meme rhymes with cream - how shit is that!!!
    Seriously, I am never doing one of those again. It's so nice when someone gives you one of those things but it was quite a stressful experience.

    Noble - you don't have to let me down gently. It really is just fine.

  4. Sorry about that, I did it last night thinking it wouldn't take too long - How wrong was I..Nightmare - Although I love No.7 and this 3.5 business...these are very interesting - Unfortunately my number is higher than that but I haven't quite run out of fingers and toes (and never should, as I am happily married!)

  5. Thank you so much! Even though I don't often do these, I LOVE LOVE LOVE being nominated. And you made my crappy weekend so much better. So - I hope you find that some result anyway.

    About the sex of the baby - I so have to know as well. I cannot deal with surprises either, and it helps making that baby a little less abstract. Not much, though - I just can't get my head around it. I couldn't handle getting the "wrong" sex baby at the end. And it would have been - twice - because I always think I'm getting a girl.

    Also - my number? 1. ONE! And I'm so a 35 girl as well. Or should be. I nearly dumped him for it - told him to swing by in five years. It's ridiculous. I hope your 2.5 other ones were GOOD.

  6. Ha, Would love to know about that 0.5!

  7. I love the way that suddenly everone is revealing how many men they've had sex with! Looks like I'm going to have to tell that 0.5 story......

  8. Did you have sex with half a man or have half sex with a full man? I am very intrigued as I may be able to add halves to my own 5 and become cooler than I thought.

  9. Hey Thanks!

    Since I could never reveal it on my own blog (parents) I will instead reveal my 'number' here. Though I can't actually remember, now that is shameful. I did have them all written down on a beermat, but it is long misplaced. I think there have been about 15 guys, some more memorable than others, clearly (thats 15, not 1.5!).

    Us scientists, we get all the action!