I was sad to see that one of my favourite blogs 'My Shitty Twenties' has come to an end.
So now let's cheer ourselves up with a 'Hello'. When I met this lady she had a blog which hadn't seen any action in a while. Recently however she's been a hive of activity. I give you 'Tapestry Face'. I love the cute photo of her listening to a record player but I really admire her for her amazing creations. I challenge you not to be jealous of this. This lady is proof of how much more we could all get done in life if we had no man and no television. I salute her.
Recently I have said 'goodbye' to an old, third-hand, red sofa and 'hello' to a new brown leather sofa. Ah yes, the ubiquitous brown leather sofa. Who among you does not have a brown leather sofa?
Anyway, I had mixed emotions about the red sofa. When I received the sofa 18 months ago, it had already seen some action. And I do mean action. I gave it a damn good steam clean because I knew exactly what it had been through. It belonged to two couples before we had it and had been around for years. I personally have had sex with two different people on this sofa - yeah, it's that old. I'm not the only one. Cupcake has definitely had sex on this sofa. I'm taking a bet that Victoria Sponge has also had sex on this sofa - if she hasn't, then shame on her, because it belonged to her for years. I'm also betting that my friends who are now in sunny Oz have also been at it on this sofa because it belonged to them too. In fact, seeing as this sofa was with my group of friends for most of our hedonistic years I'm betting that pretty much everyone I know has had sex on this sofa. The sofa has not seen the end of its days however as it has been relocated to an illegal gambling den in East London somewhere. I find that something of a comfort.
I was kind of glad to see it go but at the same time a part of me felt like it was just another symbol of me becoming older and more boring. "When will I have sex on a sofa again?" I thought to myself. There's no way I'm doing it on my new sofa as I haven't even finished paying for it yet. And guess who has to clean the sofa and put the leather protector on it. Yeah that's right, me. Why do men never think of this shit? Probably because they're too busy thinking about shagging on sofas. Well maybe if they cleaned them a bit more often, they might get laid more often. Just a thought....
Anyway, while we're on the subject of sex, it's goodbye to all sexual activity in my house because thanks to my pregnancy it's been 'hello' to some very extreme flatulence lately. Nice.